Extended Definition Essay: Crying: The Language of the Unspoken Words

Have you ever felt the emotion of wanting to scream at the top of your lungs but no voice has uttered the exact words you wanted to express? Instead you just let your tears do the talking.  Perhaps, have you also ever wanted to tell someone the greatest experience of your life but had no idea of how to describe it? Again, tears have fallen down from your face. All of us have brought out are tears in different ways. Well if you haven’t, then you’re not human. From the moment a person is conceived from birth, he cries as he starts his new life. From the time he learned his first lessons on biking with his father, he cries for the succeeding times he falls off from his bicycle. From the moment he enters a new chapter in life in transition from high school to college, he cries for reminiscing the moments he has been throughout his life in school. At the time he had his heart broken, he cries again for the pain he feels inside. He also cries upon seeing his wife walking on the aisle of the most important day of his life and once more at the moment he sees his ill father lying on a bed and uttering his last words. From the different stages of a person’s life, he cannot escape the fact that he will cry. As one of the quotation says, “Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.” (Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love). This is basically the main reason why we are called humans. We are the only creatures who can cry and express ourselves. Crying made us distinct and unique from all other God’s Creation. Crying is a person’s way of expression.

Most people are afraid to cry and. Many friends of mine actually do not want to express themselves by crying. Like them, many people think that crying is a way of surrendering in the battle by means of weakness. This is the misconception that has been instilled into the minds of society. It leads them to think that they are giving up- in mind, in heart, in body and in soul. They have this feeling that crying is a form of weakness and negativity. Once they cry, they think of themselves as the lowest people, somehow like positioned at the bottom of society’s hierarchy. They even apologize for crying- which is a wrong manifestation for expressing oneself because it is more of hindering what they feel inside. This is against people’s optimism and positivity of heading life with a face chin up. People should stop this insane misconception and should be secured. People should not be lowered with self-esteem and should always the confidence to express their feelings. “Without tears, we cannot feel our sorrow, and if that is blocked, so is our joy.” (Simons, J. (n.d.) http://www.mindbodytherapy.net/Crying%20Article.htm)

Crying is defined as the shedding of tears as a response or a stimuli to an emotional state in humans. Studies show that only humans have the emotion or capability of crying, while there are also some others who disagree. But what basically is the scientific reason or the psychology why people cry? Well, a person has tear ducts that prevents and protects his eyes from dirt and dust. “The ducts are under the upper eyelids and produce a salty liquid—a tear-–-that gets spread throughout the eye after each blink.” There are three types of tears that are generated by the human eye. The first type is what we call as the ‘Basal Tear’ that protects the eyes and keeps it moist. This tear serves as a lubricant to prevent the eyes from getting harmed. The second type of tear is known as the ‘Reflex tears’. When the eyes get irritated, the eyes releases or flushes out these reflex tears. And the third type of tear is named ‘emotional tear’ which responds to the feeling of being in distress, pain, emotional, physical and spiritual pain. Emotional tear is the most common type of tear known to people, especially to teenagers. Emotional tear is a form of communication. This serves as the medium of language for people who cannot express themselves or for those who have difficulties in expressing their inner emotions. This is what I define as the language of the unspoken. (Driscoll, E. (2006). http://scienceline.org/2006/10/ask-driscoll-tears/)

 What basically are the reasons why people cry and shed tears? Crying is caused by common factors to a person’s life- such as extreme happiness, despair, fear, and freedom. First reason why a person cries is because of pain, whether by being sad or when hurt. A person cries because he experiences physical, psychological, mental or spiritual pain. Let us say for example, when one experiences heartbreaks, injuries, mental illness and feeling of being alone with no God. Emotion and pain are expressed and generated by the body at the same response. The body cannot really distinguish what is emotional from physical pain. So, both are being responded by the same stimulus: by crying. Second, Crying is the body’s pressure valve. “The presence of hormones seems to indicate that shedding emotional tears is a way for our bodies to restore equilibrium.” When we experience sudden burst up or heightened emotions: such as nirvana or extreme happiness, jubilee, relief, anger or pain, our body hormones rise and swell. The body needs to maintain its equilibrium and maintain it stabilized. Crying therefore is one of the forms to equalize that sudden rise of hormones. Such example is like when a person is experiencing stress and anxiety. Crying is one form of the body to alleviate itself from stress. Research shows that those people who cry in response to stress, anger, pain and anxiety are healthier than those who don’t. Those people who keep themselves their problems and remain stoned about it will have a higher percentage of heartaches, heart ailments, depression, hair loss and the like. Lastly, Crying is a reason for nature versus nurture. Studies show that by the time we reach adulthood, women cry sixty four times a year, while men only cry seventeen times a year. It is caused by a hormone named Prolactin which affects puberty, childhood, childbirth and breastfeeding. Not long before the period when youngsters start schooling, it is still recognizable that boys and girls cry at equal rates or amounts. After a long period of time, boys started crying less, and girls exceeding the latter. Studies show that it is caused by social pressure forces in society whereby boys try to hold their tears more. At the same time, girls when they hit puberty become vulnerable and cry more. It is very interesting though that when both subgroups reach the old age, the men and women’s hormones equalize again, whereby men started to cry more and women cry less. (Ford, A. (2009). http://www.divinecaroline.com/22189/68792-let-out-reasons-cry)

Crying has numerous effects to human. This phenomenon supports the Recovery Theory: a positive effect. Crying can make a person feel better, whether physically or emotionally. Crying is a way of getting the body back in balance after its stressful and overwhelming activities. Chemicals, toxins and other waste products that are built when experiencing such activities are removed through crying. William Frey, professor of pharmaceutics at the University of Minnesota, says that "Because unalleviated stress can increase our risk for heart attack and damage certain areas of our brain, the human ability to cry has survival value.'' American researches suggest some beneficial effects that crying is a useful therapy: it may be suitable for people who are having a hard time expressing themselves. (Dobson, R. (2008). http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-crying-can-make-you-healthier-1009169.html) A counter theory: a negative effect is also proposed about crying. Some studies show that skin sensitivity increased during and after crying. “Criers do show calming effects such as slower breathing, but they also experience a lot of unpleasant stress and arousal, including increased heart rate and sweating.” ( Isanski, B. (n.d.).  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/133552.php)

 Crying is a way of life, an art of expression. It is the language of the unspoken words- a medium of communication in the hearts of those who cannot express verbally. It is never a sign of weakness, but rather a conqueror of the unspoken reality. Crying indeed serves as an expression of human in today’s modern society. Those who do not cry and express themselves, do not foresee what life is awaiting ahead of them. “Those who do not weep, do not see.” -― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables.

References: 

Dobson, R. (2008). How crying can make you healthier. How crying can make you healthier-Features-Health & Families- The Independent . Retrieved  July 18, 2012, from  http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-crying-can-make-you-healthier-1009169.html.

Driscoll, E. (2006). Why Do People Cry. Why do people cry (Scienceline). Retrieved  July 18, 2012, from http://scienceline.org/2006/10/ask-driscoll-tears/.

Ford, A. (2009). Title of article. Let It Out: The Reasons We Cry- DivineCaroline. Retrieved  July 18, 2012, from  http://www.divinecaroline.com/22189/68792-let-out-reasons-cry.

Isanski, B. (n.d.). The Psychology of Crying. The Psychology of Crying. Retrieved  July 18, 2012, from http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/133552.php.

Simons, J. (n.d.). Crying For Your Life. Crying Article. Retrieved July 18, 2012, from  http://www.mindbodytherapy.net/Crying%20Article.htm.